Not Heaven Sent

Angry woman why do you hate me

Because I am younger albeit marginally

And far less wrinkly, you should smile more

Because my vocabulary is exemplary 

While yours is that of a dromedary? 

If you were a documentary then

It would have been last century 

Or even the one before 

But perhaps then you would’ve 

Been poor, bailiff’s at your door

Not listening, not caring, wanting more

I look away from you, eyes down

Focus on the cardboard sign

Thank you for your kindness 

Your highness, roses added for effect

I know you do not see me, the real me

Not the me in cast offs, face bruised

From last night’s fight.

You would never believe that I once had it all

Soft bed, full fridge, clock in the hall.

All gone to pay for the divorce 

I didn’t want, the lawyer who

Fucked me over, made me pay

So ‘he’ would never work another day.

I kept my car, didn’t get me far

A layby near the beach

Public toilet, outdoor shower

Battery operated power, life

Measured by the hour.

Until your sisters in unsolidarity 

Broke through into my reality 

Told me to move on,

My poor was not their charity 

Of the year, they couldn’t 

Shed a tear for me, although 

I’m sure some of them

Would relate to DV.

It doesn’t make me angry,

It makes me sad

That just like you they

Couldn’t see, didn’t wish to be

Involved in helping me

Or other women just like me.

I drove away from them.

Collecting my meagre donations 

I now walk away from you.

I feel your eyes on my back

As I avoid the cracks

In the pavement

You were not heaven sent.